RFK Jr. On the Death of His Cousin
Posted on November 4th, 2013 in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »
Over a decade ago I was much criticized in some quarters for writing a book about my old boss, John Kennedy Jr., a phenomenon which at the time deeply frustrated and upset me. (You can now buy that book for a penny; the glamor of publishing.)
In the years since, I have watched as at least two of my more vociferous critics wrote books of their own—not in response to mine, but apparently because they were planning to all along—as has one of John’s former girlfriends.
It’s an interesting thing to watch, and I’ve gained some wisdom from it all. When John’s former assistant, Rosemarie Terenzio, came out with a book about John a couple of years ago, I watched a couple of television interviews she did and thought, Is anyone going to ask her about her very personal criticism of me for writing a book, on the grounds that, as she put it at the time, “John would never have wanted anyone who worked for him to write a book about him”? Is our culture’s memory so short? Isn’t there some price to pay for hypocrisy?
People’s minds change, of course, and things that once seemed fixed and certain become less so over time. I always wondered, Is Rosemarie mad at me for writing a book, or is she mad at me because she wanted to write a book? I’m pretty sure what the answer is, but I don’t care much any more; if writing a book about John was important to Rose, then more power to her. I’m glad she did it.
But I do find it ironic that the most salacious gossip about John—things I would never have written about had I known them—is coming from Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Granted, he’s not publishing them on purpose; the New York Post has obtained copies of journals he kept, apparently because of tension between him and the family of his late wife.
It’s odd for me to read this stuff—yesterday’s “excerpt” was about family feuding between the Kennedys and the Bessettes after John, Carolyn and Lauren died—because the actions described are consistent with my impressions of the people involved, and because the scene that RFK Jr. describes at John’s funeral is exactly the scene described in my book. (Always nice when someone else confirms your memories.)
For me, though, the main impact of reading this stuff in the New York Post is to remind me of what a shame it is that John isn’t alive; there are moments when I really wonder what he would be doing now. I’ve no doubt that all of us who knew him think about that from time to time.
8 Responses
11/4/2024 1:47 pm
It is a nightmare to have your (stolen) diary published. There would be nothing inconsistent in RFK, Jr decrying your book and at the same time keep a private diary of family reminiscences
11/4/2024 2:22 pm
Nor did I mean to suggest that there was, and I don’t remember RFK Jr. being involved in that anyway; I just thought it ironic that after all the concern from some quarters about my book that I would “tell all” about John, the most damaging stuff comes, albeit inadvertently, from his own family. For example: Caroline Kennedy was adamantly opposed to my book, but the material from her cousin’s diary is absolutely brutal about her husband.
I agree that the publication of this diary is excruciating in a way-it’s so personal. But the apparent reason it was leaked to the Post is because it contained abundant evidence of RFK’s chronic, almost addictive philandering, which seems to have played a part in his wife’s suicide. So someone wanted to play hardball with RFK Jr.
11/13/2013 6:42 am
I have always thought the problem with your book was timing. Many people weren’t ready to hear someone was already going against John’s wishes of having noone publish about about him that knew him. He very obviously did not want anyone to. But as time moves on it is easy to realize that talking about him after he died is normal. You were the first and you got the brunt of the anger, because you were the first to act like he was dead. You just should have waited longer. I’m sure you will disagree obviouslt, but it was less of a moral issue than a taste issue on timing.
11/18/2013 7:19 am
Anon of 11/13, I agree with your post to some extent, which was that the suddenness (in other people’s minds) of my decision to write a book about John struck them as inappropriate. But you make an assumption—one that was widely made—that John wouldn’t have wanted anyone who knew him to write about him. That’s something that no one could have said for sure, and I think the argument against that idea is at least as strong, if not stronger, than the argument for it. To write that “he very obviously did not want anyone to” is simply wrong; there was nothing obvious about it at all. As I describe in the book, John wasn’t averse to being written about, and in fact he followed what was written about him with some avidity; he just preferred some coverage to other. John didn’t love intrusive coverage about his personal life (though he did like flattering coverage about his amorous success). My book was not that. And I am 98 percent confident that John never gave much thought to the possibility of him being written about after dying in a tragic accident; and if he did, I don’t think the result of that thought is obvious.
As for taste…well, I suppose some people could see it that way. But that would be to misunderstand the immediacy of grief, the human impulse to come to terms with loss by writing. Some people might say, this pain is too great, I can not write about it for years. Others would say this pain is paralyzing *unless* I write about it.
12/3/2024 1:44 pm
Well, your argument of him not wanting to be written about doesn’t stand up, since he asked people who worked for him to sign an agreement not to. Your argument is self-serving. And I think the timing question was one in which you were an opportunist. I’m sure you made more money writing a book then, than you would now. He was a hotter topic then. But it is all water under the bridge. There is definitely a tact/sensitivity issue here. All the best.
12/3/2024 2:34 pm
Anon, not to be blunt about it, but you’re wrong; the confidentiality agreement was never intended to be posthumous, if only because that possibility was never considered. The agreement was written in about five minutes by a friend of John’s who happened to be a lawyer, and I am quite sure they never discussed the idea of someone writing a book about John after his tragic premature death in a plane crash. As someone who actually had breakfast with John to discuss the agreement, I can tell you very clearly what his intentions were and weren’t-and this was not supposed to be some pact with eternity. So far as I know, no one, with the likely exception of his business partner, Michael Berman, ever had a longer conversation with John about the agreement than that one he and I had at a Broadway diner. So unless you’re Michael—and like me, Michael knows exactly how and why that agreement came about, and I’m guessing you don’t—I’m pretty comfortable saying that I know what John was thinking better than you do.
As far as timing goes, I’m always fascinated by how hung up people get about money, and how often their assumptions about money are really projections. There are lots of reasons to write a book quickly that have nothing to do with money. You want it to have the biggest impact it can have; you want to unburden yourself of a lot of painful memories in a way that shares a story. You want to shape the memory of a guy while it is still malleable and, as you say, people are still paying attention. I was perfectly happy to make money on that book, but I can assure you, there were plenty of easier ways for me to make more money than that at that point in my career.
And as for tact-sensitivity…well, since when is writing a book an inherently insensitive or tactless act? Again: Says more about your preconceptions (or, perhaps, what books you read) than the reality of the situation. To me, having someone write a book about you is a great compliment; you’re devoting years of your life to trying to communicate the achievements of another person. Of course, there are books that aren’t complimentary. But why would I want to write a book like that about someone whom I worked for for five years and liked and respected very much? Obviously, I wouldn’t. I know full well from working with John Kennedy: Life is too short.
7/9/2024 1:52 am
I think i know too how that agreement came about. Rumor has it john had sex with every girl that ever worked for george…especially the girl ..i think elizabeth or something. Can you confirm?
2/7/2024 4:15 am
Response to Flo: Your “rumor” is pure bullshit & a definite defaming of JFK,Jr.’s character. Did you make up this rumor yourself just to post what you consider to be a provocative comment? Either that, or you must have John confused with David Letterman!