Don’t worry, David Ortiz, I won’t—and on one else will either. Not after the Red Sox last night completed “the greatest choke” in the history of baseball (thank you, Dan Shaughnessy), if not the world.

I mean, just look at what happened last night. Your best closer—even if he is kind of a jerk one of the most unpleasant players in baseball—gives up two runs with two outs and no one on in the bottom of the ninth. And that’s after you have a guy thrown out at home because of bad base running and David Ortiz thrown out at second because his steroids ran out of bad base running.

Meanwhile, in Florida, the Rays come back from a 7-0 deficit—7-0!—to win 8-7 in 12 innings.

That, said Alex Rodriguez afterward, is why “baseball is the greatest game,” in an apparent homage to my book on the 1978 Red Sox collapse and Yankee victory.

Red Sox Adrian Gonzalez had perhaps the most bizarre thing to say about the events. “God has a plan. And it wasn’t God’s plan for us to be in the playoffs.”

Well, at first blush that sounds pretty stupid. Because God, one has to believe, is not a macro-manager, and has better things to do than determine playoff teams.

But the comment becomes more interesting if you consider the possibility that Gonzalez isn’t just a dumb jock blaming God for his team’s ineptitude. Maybe Gonzalez is right. Maybe God didn’t want the Red Sox in the playoffs. Because maybe…maybe…God is a Yankee fan!

There’s abundant evidence in the historical record to support that.

Or maybe, when Tampa took the word “devil” out of their name, God perked up His ears and decided to reward them. That’s also possible.

Look, I’m sorry; it’s early in the morning (5:49!) and my head hasn’t cleared yet, and I’m sure that if this were later in the day I’d have some greater kindness perspective. But Sox fans have been tough to take in the last seven years. I think this’ll be good for you. Really.