Out-of-control district attorney Mike Nifong has charged a third player with rape in the Duke lacrosse scandal. The player, David Evans, the team captain, promptly held a press conference in which he dubbed the charges “fantastic lies” and said, “I look forward to watching them unravel in the weeks to come.”

According to defense attorney Joseph Cheshire, the alleged victim told police that she’d be 100 sure that Evans was the guy…if only he had a mustache.

Evans has never had a mustache.

And, one wonders, has anyone on the Duke lacrosse team ever had a mustache? (Somehow I just don’t see a lot of Duke lacrosse players looking like Tom Selleck.)

Moreover, according to Evans, he offered to take a lie detector test, but Nifong declined the offer. Evans then took one himself and passed.

So let’s see…the alleged victim has a past history of alleging that she was raped by three men…her fellow dancer claims she saw nothing, but wants to profit from the story…there is no DNA match, despite the fact that the alleged victim claims to have been raped in three orifices…one of the accused has witnesses to his location during the events in question that would make it almost impossible for him to have been present at any alleged rape…the third accused person would look more like the alleged rapist if he had a mustache that he’s never had…the alleged victim was never shown any photos of people other members of the lacrosse team, meaning that she had to pick *someone* out….

It’s possible that the alleged victim could be telling the truth…but it’s also possible that Barry Bonds never took steroids. Almost anything is possible, really.