Shots in the Dark

In the Wall Street Journal, Elizabeth Bernstein argues that “Facebook ruins friendships.”

…the problem is much greater than which tools we use to communicate. It’s what we are actually saying that’s really mucking up our relationships. “Oh my God, a college friend just updated her Facebook status to say that her ‘teeth are itching for a flossing!'” shrieked a friend of mine recently. “That’s gross. I don’t want to hear about what’s going on inside her mouth.”

…This brings us to our first dilemma: Amidst all this heightened chatter, we’re not saying much that’s interesting, folks. Rather, we’re breaking a cardinal rule of companionship: Thou Shalt Not Bore Thy Friends.

“It’s called narcissism,” says Matt Brown, a 36-year-old business-development manager for a chain of hair salons and spas in Seattle….

You know that something is going on when a promoter of hair salons and wellness treatments decries narcissism.

Yet it’s silly to blame Facebook for this phenomenon. Yes, it allows for the broader distribution of the banal. But the problem is not boring friends, it’s boring friends, if you take the point. (If not…read off!)

For too many people these days, “conversation” is simply the banal, a hodgepodge of pop culture fodder (“Did you see…?” “How about that…?”) and trivial details of our daily lives. (I’m hardly immune to this; I hoist myself on my own canard.)

Conversation—eloquent, witty, learned, sophisticated, not self-involved but selfless—is a fading art. For the most part, we no longer enjoy it. Instead, we have Twitter. You can say something, but only in 140 characters, and please use the language of Madison Avenue. (It’s a testament to the limits of our imagination that the rhetoric for which we are nostalgic comes from…Madison Avenue.) One doesn’t say something to learn something; one says something to sell something. Most frequently, oneself.

It’s for this reason, I think, that people get so excited about actual eloquence when it almost randomly appears, like some nearly-extinct bird in a birdwatcher’s binoculars. The Moth isn’t a discussion—perhaps it should be—but it does showcase the idea that talking ought to be more than just saying, or typing, or (yes) posting whatever comes to mind.

There’s certainly reason to hope: I think there are numerous Internet examples of clever contributing, if not illuminating conversation. I love the comments section of Gawker, where the commenters are often far cleverer than the posters; unexpected blogs like “Fuck You, Penguin” (“Penguins are sad. You are happy.”); and even Facebook, where quite a few people rise to the occasion and write status updates or posts that are witty, provocative, and sometimes even educational.

The challenge, funnily enough, is the spoken word…..

I have a pretty interesting family. One of my most interesting relatives is my cousin George Blow, 40-something son of my Uncle George and Aunt Sarah. You can find him on Facebook. If you know what I look like, you’ll know who he is.

George and I used to have a lot of fun together when we were kids; I’d visit him in Washington, where his family lived. We’d play tennis for hours, and he’d kick my ass. (I was stubborn; he was good.)

George is one of the most thoughtful and literate guys I know, and adventuresome too. For the past 15 years or so, he’s been living and working in New Orleans. It’s a place which has been home for several Blow family members for several decades, but since Katrina, the city has brought some pain to the family.

Perhaps because of the great loss we suffered last year, perhaps because he felt it was just time for a change, George up and moved to Buenos Aires a few weeks ago. Not long after he arrived,one of my uncles wrote George an e-mail titled, “In Love Yet?”

(George is a handsome guy and charming as all-get-out and has, mostly, resisted the lure of matrimony.)

George responded with an e-mail detailing his quest for love and life in a new world, and has since been chronicling his explorations in e-mail missives that combine George’s eye for the fresh and curious with a literary flair.

With George’s permission, I’m going to publish them here from time to time. Starting now.

I took a very long walk around the city today for the first time. I actually haven’t spent that much time on my feet in quite a while. BA reminds me of New York in that there seems to be an energy in the sidewalk, and covering 40 blocks is no big deal. Of course you are exhausted at the end of the day, but it feels good.

I was amazed by the natural preserve that is right on the river, next to (or in front of - if you are looking at the river) all the really huge office buildings. It´s an absolutely vast park with a wide variety of birds and animals you might come across. I walked over three miles, and that wasn´t even all the way around. It´s wonderful that they haven´t given in to the interests that might want to develop that land. When you get to the far end, you can´t hear any of the city noises at all, but you are right there in the city. Today the sun shone, and it was gorgeous.

I must say it is a bit strange to be in the mid summer heat in New Orleans one day and then find yourself in a very Parisian winter the next. The temps are down in the 40´s at night and 50’s-60´s during the day. [My host] Marcelo´s apt. is indeed very French in style, as are many in the Recoleta, with the same kind of elevator, even! I am told that the portenos are very friendly, but so far their strongest skill seems to be avoiding eye contact on the street! Sigh….big city syndrome. That´s something I confess I have missed about New Orleans, the fact that you talk to strangers as a matter of course, at the very least acknowledging their existence with a nod as you walk down the street. I think BA could be a lonely place if you didn´t have any connections.

Monique, Martin´s sister turns out to be a good resource for jobs/apts. here…. In fact, she taught English at the Japanese School and has given me a contact there. Also, the limo driver from the airport, who is originally from Long Island, was a big help with advice about money and how to get minutes on a phone, etc. He even changed dollars for me at the current rate and we have emailed since, just to stay in touch.

I would say that it has been worth it just for what I have experienced in the last couple of days. Buenos Aires is a truly extraordinary city, and completely unique, a mix of many different cultures with a long, rich history. Nevertheless, I confess it has been a bit disorienting at times. My Spanish isn´t anywhere near what I thought it would be. I can read pretty well and understand the tv, but daily interactions have been tough. I´m really very fortunate to be able to stay in a friend´s place at the start.

That´s all for now.

Ciao!

Jorge

Blogger: In Letter from Buenos Aires #2, coming soon, George learns about kissing, Argentinian-style….

The Boston Herald follows yesterday’s WSJ and Bloomberg exclusives with a similar piece on Harvard’s new endowment strategy.

The fund’s chief overseer, Jane Mendillo, is now saying the university intends to unload some of its holdings in hedge funds and private-equity firms, bringing that money in-house to be directly handled by Harvard Management….

…Mendillo, who could not be reached for comment, made the remarks to The Wall Street Journal and Bloomberg News.

Here is a piece of free image-building advice I will give to Jane Mendillo and various Harvard flacks (there are a lot of them): It’s fine to give a scoop to the papers you prefer to break your news in, as Mendillo did with the Journal and Bloomberg.

But there’s no reason to blow off the papers you don’t much care about by not returning their phone calls, as Mendillo almost certainly did to the Herald. (Or some press flack who probably told her, “It’s only the Herald, we don’t speak to the Herald.”)

If you spoke to the reporter, you’d tell him exactly what you told the other guys the day before. No harm there. All not speaking does is create ill will and make you look like a snob. Spend ten minutes on the phone with the Herald guy. It won’t kill you, and he’ll be especially appreciative because you haven’t acted like (from the Herald’s perspective) a typical Harvard wanker. No, you’ve acted like a decent human being, helping out a working stiff.

Instead, you’ve confirmed his suspicions that you are a typical Harvard wanker, and the first opportunity you give him, the guy’s going to rip you a new one.

That is my free advice. Take it for what it’s worth.

…the documentary “Harvard Beats Yale, 29-29,” about the infamous 1968 Game, is now available on iTunes. They say it’s well-done.

Also: We have spoken of Jet before on this blog, and their new album, “Shaka Rock,” is out today.

Jet’s third album, just like their second, is stuffed with swaggering, anthemic rock that you’ll swear someone else already wrote, which rarely compromises its appeal. “She’s a Genius” rejiggers the riff from “My Sharona” into a snarling rock blast; “Goodbye Hollywood” is the best cliché-smitten Stones rip-off you’ll hear this year; and the stuttering, infectious “Let Me Out” imagines the Replacements with their shit together….

If my say-so (and SPIN magazine’s) aren’t quite enough to make you drop your hard-earned $9.99—$7.99 on Amazon—spend a buck on the first song, K.I.A. It’s pretty great.

“The size I decided, literally figured with little models, saying this looks too dinky, that looks too much.”

—Cowboys owner Jerry Jones explaining how he chose the size of the massive video screens—72′ high by 160′ long—hanging from the roof of the new, multi-billion dollar Cowboys stadium. In a game against the Cowboys on Friday night, Tennessee Titans punter J.A. Trapasso hit the bottom of one screen with a punt.

“So it’s like a do-over,” Fox’s Joe Buck said…..

Once the hubris of the super-rich was channeled into great ships. Now it goes toward oversize TVs in football stadiums.

Tom Pennington/Getty Images

From the Joy of Sox, a Red Sox blog:

The AL East standings:

            W   L   PCT   GB  LEFT
Yankees    78  46  .629  ---    38
Red Sox    70  53  .569  7.5    39

If the Yankees go 19-19, the Red Sox will need a 28-11 record (.718) to top them.

If the Yankees can go 21-17 — which, at .553, is worse than Boston’s overall percentage this year — the Red Sox will need a 30-9 (.769) finish.

Of course, as 1978 showed, stranger things have happened….

A writer for CNN.com lists the 12 most annoying types of Facebookers.

For example:

The Self-Promoter. OK, so we’ve probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.

[Blogger: There should be a special category for people who write in all-caps to emphasize something. This is why God someone invented italics.]

This is a surprisingly frequent phenomenon. A friend of mine just updated his status to read:

“Just rode the 100 mile Hillier Than Thou race in northern NJ, and drove 5 hours back home the same day…”

Or …one of my least-favorite Facebookers:

The Chronic Inviter. “Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which ‘Star Trek’ character are you? Here are the ‘Top 5 cars I have personally owned.’ Here are ’25 Things About Me.’ Here’s a drink. What drink are you? We’re related! I took the ‘What President Are You?’ quiz and found out I’m Millard Fillmore! What president are you?”

No. Fuck off.

Me, I probably fall into the “spends too much time looking at other people’s pictures” category….

It’s a meeting of the brands minds. The Harvard School of Public Health is partnering with the Disney Institute—yes, you read that correctly—to host a series of “workshops” this fall.

Called “Transforming Intangible Assets into Enduring Tangible Outcomes,” the workshops will be held in Cambridge, Washington, Chicago and San Francisco.

Close to a century ago, the Disney organization began their trajectory for global success by cultivating the intangible, yet highly valuable, capacity of its brand and its people. For almost four centuries, Harvard University capitalized on the strengths of its history and achievements to become one of the world’s most acclaimed institutions of higher learning. Now, for the first time, these two world-renowned organizations bring their history and experience together in the joint program, Transforming Intangible Assets Into Enduring Tangible Outcomes.

Oh—it costs $2490 (not $2500!) to go.

Given the unique strengths and sterling reputations of both Disney and Harvard, the program will be invaluable to managers, executives, and leaders across industries who want to be a change agent in their organizations and are interested in tapping into the strengths of these two powerful entities.

Hmmm. Perhaps someone should take up a collection and send the Corporation?

I feel bad taking a shot at HSPH, which is a noble and chronically underfunded organization. But for all its good works, the school has never been considered an exemplar of great management skills. And does anyone associate Disney with improving the public health…or encouraging young people to sit on their duffs in front of the TV all day?

The WSJ* reports that Jane Mendillo is bringing more of Harvard’s money under internal management.

“We are looking to have a greater portion of our assets managed internally over the next few years,” Ms. Mendillo, 50 years old, says. “That will allow us to be more nimble, have better transparency into the portfolio and have more liquidity.”

But as the Journal points out, that strategy may revive the compensation issue which Jack Meyer found so discouraging.

In prior years, when the endowment was wildly successful, some investment managers’ paychecks soared into millions of dollars a year, far more than the school’s Nobel laureates or its deans received. Critics have argued that the university should outsource more of its asset management to save costs.

The article also includes some details about Jane Mendillo’s hiring and management style—mainly, not everyone wanted her, and she’s not as involved in day-to-day trading as her two immediate predecessors.

….Ms. Mendillo is considered less well-versed in the intricacies of financial markets than her predecessor, Mohamed El-Erian, now chief executive of giant bond house Pacific Investment Management Co. A number of directors on the Harvard Management board expressed concern about her lack of hands-on markets experience and were initially opposed to her, according to a person with knowledge of the matter.

No word on the endowment numbers yet….

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* Bloomberg has essentially the same article, and Mendillo cooperated with both, suggesting that HMA/Mendilllo is/are doing a little bit of media lovebombing.

This time she writes about a subject we’re all deeply tired of: Anna Wintour.

So the question invariably arises: Behind those bangs and dark glasses, is Anna human? Or did she tie Hermès scarves together and make a daring escape from District 9 in a getaway car driven by Oscar de la Renta?

Zzzzzzz…..

I have one word for Ms. Dowd: sabbatical.

Could someone please read this column for me and find an idea? Or even just a point?