Militancy is a necessary ingrediant when running for office in Boston; and especially when targeted at the likes of institutions such as BC an H.

As for style, well it has perfect pitch for the local political scene. Since you are not from the area and not in tune with campaign requirements it is understandable that you have a bit of a tin ear.

Not meant to be a "shot" just translating. Be prepared for more of this and then follow the rhetoric once they go from candidate to elected-tune changes.
 

Well, okay, if you say so. It's true I'm not a local. But looking at is an editor, I still find the letter a less than overwhelming way to draw in the reader.
 

Right, as an editor.
Who is the reader - the A/B resident who used to local goverment gobble-de-guck (code) and that is how the candidate has to present his case...(remember, the candidate cannot offend except the official opponent - here it is BC and Harvard).

Anyway, government messaging is very different than main stream media and other forms of communications. Usually long sentences and passive voice that can be interpreted many ways...magic.

Again, not a shot but the communication requirements in govt and campaigning are very different that any other medium, perhaps that is what you are having trouble with. Just for giggles, start reading the presidential campaign communications - you will see very similar styles - your new summer project should you chose to accept it-could even be a good thesis.
 

The letter isn't exciting, but it isn't boring either (all writing need not conform to PowerPoint style). Suspicion of Harvard is a sign of intelligence.