A Letter to the Crimson
Dear Crimson folks,
One of my least favorite words in the English language is "
asshole." Why? Because even though it's fairly common, it's unpleasantly graphic. Maybe I'm Waspy that way, but maybe I'm emo and just very sensitive to words, too. There are some swear words I'm pretty okay with. "Fuck" has a nice ring to it. "Shit" and "bullshit" are good too. But "asshole" bothers me. So sue me, Dr. Freud.
Then again, I'm okay with "motherfucker," which is icky, it's true, but in a funny, over-the-top way. No one really means it when they call you a motherfucker, unless possibly you go to Brown, so everyone can have a good laugh. But "asshole" always has a nasty, vicious undertone. A Nixonian quality, really.
Moreover, when we say "motherfucker" in polite conversation—"Gosh, my co-worker is a motherfucker"—eyebrows are raised. Shouldn't the same be true for the word "asshole." Our society is vulgar enough as it is. Must we debase it further?
The point is, do I really need to open up your website and see a huge ad for some hack book by "Robert I. Sutton, Ph.D." called "THE NO ASSHOLE RULE."
Here's a tip,
Dr. Sutton. Putting "Ph.D." after your name doesn't make you look smart and authoritative. It makes you look needy and pathetic and, frankly, probably dumb. Even though you are allegedly a professor at Stanford. It also makes it look like you're paying Alibris to publish your book, even though you're not.
I'm sorry; I don't mean to be a jerk about this. Please, don't call me an—well, you know. It's just that I'm having my morning coffee here. Who needs "ASSHOLE" in their face at this hour?
Crimson, you guys don't need the ad money that much. (Do you?) Strike a blow for clean living. Purge the ass**** from your page. We'll all feel better.
