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Shots In The Dark
Wednesday, December 14, 2023
  The Brokeback Mountain Controversy
Occasionally, I go out for a night on the town with some guy friends, and we do guy things. We see "Wedding Crashers" and "Sideways." We play tennis. We drink beer and eat cheeseburgers. We jokingly call the outings "man-dates," which is a term that the New York Times Sunday Styles section applied to straight men doing things together. Whatever.

All was bliss, until the other day one of my "posse," as it were (though there is no Leo DiCaprio figure in this group) suggested that we see "Brokeback Mountain," the film about two gay cowboys. And I put my foot down: No way, I said. Not appropriate for a mandate.

(Which is, by definition, not actually a date. If you follow me.)

Does that make me a bigot?

That's exactly the question that Mickey Kaus asks in his Slate blog. (Thanks, Mickey. Especially because you answer "no.")

Mickey's thesis: "My wild hypothesis is that more people will go see a movie if it features an actor or actress they find attractive! If heterosexual men in heartland America don't flock to see Brokeback Mountain it's not because they're bigoted. It's because they're heterosexual."

Whew.

Of course, that doesn't explain why I'd be perfectly fine seeing the movie with a she-date (i.e., a woman).....

But since David Leavitt doesn't even think that Brokeback Mountain is a "gay movie"—and he's gay!—then I'm even more confused.
 
Comments:
As one of your "posse" (?) whose carefully guarded secrets you have now shamelessly exploited for . . . well . . . no commercial gain, I must point out that I think you've set up a false dichotomy (love that phrase). The question ought not to be, are you bigoted if you, a heterosexual male, don't want to see the movie. The question ought to be, if as a general matter you're willing to see quality movies that raise important topics (whether or not they reflect your own lifestyle), and if in fact (as you admit) you'd see this very movie as long as you were going with a chi...er, woman, then are you bigoted because you refuse to see it with a group of other males?
 
i think you bring up curious points... but i don't think it has anything to do with bigotry. i think it's plain old discomfort. kind of like watching sex scenes on TV when your parents are in the room.

i don't love watching lesbian movies when i'm with the girls, or movies with tons of sex in them if i'm out with my brother.

and you have a posse? is one of them the really tall one that i met and accidentally insulted? if he's one of them, please apologize.
 
It's not gay porn for cryin' out loud. grow up!
 
ok, i never said it was gay porn, ever. jesus.

seriously, must reiterate this: never said it was gay porn. just said that any kind of sex on the screen can make people uncomfortable. NOT JUST PORN.
 
i get the feeling grumpy girl wants/needs a shot in the dark.
 
what is that supposed to mean? and really, anonymous, why don't you tell us who you actually are.

and, actually, why is it that when i come here and make comments i get trampled all over. it's not nice. it's not right. and it's not asked for.
 
What makes Grumpy Girl think the comment is directed at her? Why couldn't that comment have been directed at Rich Bradley? This is his site. It would only make sense if the comments posted are directed at him.

Maybe GrumpyGirl is in need of a shot in the dark.
 
I don't know which anonymous I am in all of this, but this is Dan. I am not registered at this blog, last time I registered at a site I was spammed mercilessly.

I just posted asking why Grumpy Girl assumed that comment was directed at her? I don't know who posted about gay porn. I also don't know why Grumpy Girl assumed that comment was aimed at her.
But it does seem that Grumpy Girl gets upset quite often.

Dan
 
i assumed it was directed at me, dan, because it was right after my comment.

i assumed the other comment was directed at me--both of them, in fact--because they said that *i* needed shot in the dark.

and i take everything personally, which is why i'm always grumpy. ergo, grumpygirl. (and if you're the one i insulted i'm sorry)
 
well, clarification city! i'm the one who posted the first comment, i'm in his (supposed) posse, and no was never insulted by any of his acquaintances, friends, consorts, enemies, grumpy or otherwise. and i have no idea who the other anonymous's are either. my opinion though is that everyone needs a shot in the dark once in a while.
 
Well, this was unexpected. Somehow I feel we have strayed (as it were) from the topic of Brokeback Mountain...but I appreciate the comments. And I agree that we all need a shot in the dark—and sometimes in the arm—preferably as often as possible.

I did receive one e-mail from someone who said essentially, yes, I am a bigot.

My response to that is, frankly, it's probably true; probably we all are. I like to think that I'm pretty progressive on gay issues, social justice issues, and the like. But truth is, I just don't think you can grow up in the United States without carrying some taint of prejudice inside you; the seeds are planted too early. I wrote the item mostly to make fun of myself for being at all squeamish about seeing BM with a bunch of guys. Sometimes the best way to get rid of that prejudice is to laugh at it, even if that means making fun of yourself. Maybe especially if it means making fun of yourself.
 
He-he...he said "taint".
 
i think a brit writer once made the distinction between being racist and being racialist, the former being a sociopolitical stance involving depriving others of their rights, the latter being an acknowledgement that like gravitates naturally toward like and that pretending otherwise is a form of delusion. i suppose the distinction can be applied to gender choices.
 
Interesting distinction. I'm going to have to ponder that. But if you look at any college dining hall, it seems true....
 
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