Jared Paul Stern Spins for His Life
Unbowed by the fact that he's been caught on tape asking for $220,000 in payola, Jared Paul Stern is taking his case to any forum he deems friendly.
In this
q-and-a with Gawker, Stern presents his side of the story.
My error in judgment* was combining discussions about an investment in my clothing company* with one about advising him on media coverage,**** especially in such a way that it could be twisted out of all proportion**** by the slimeball, billionaire lapdogs at the Daily News*****.
Let's parse this, shall we?
* Nice! It wasn't a crime, an act of blackmail or just sheer greed. It was "an error in judgement." Hey, could have happened to anyone!
** Wow. So all along, billionaire Ron Burkle was really just spending hours of his valuable time desperately trying to invest in Stern's "clothing company,"
Skull & Bones," oddly named after a secret society Stern wasn't in at a school he didn't go to. Because, you know, that's how billionaires make their money—one six-figure investment in moribund clothing lines at a time.
Ron Burkle: Apparently saw gold in them there tote bags.
***
Advising him on media coverage...and here I thought that Stern was just asking for money to keep Burkle's name out of the paper.
**** Because if the shoe were on the other newspaper's gossip columnist, the
New York Post would never, ever, even
think of twisting anything all out of proportion.
*****
The slimeball, billionaire lapdogs at the Daily News.... As opposed to the
slimeball, billionaire lapdog who owns the New York Post. But then, the fact that Jared Paul Stern always fancied himself a rich, elitist socialite certainly shouldn't stop him from playing the class card now.
Jared Paul Stern: Just another workin'
fella, sticking it to The Man.
What's really interesting is that Gawker gives Stern all this space to spin what is clearly complete bullshit—please, please tell me that no one is falling for Stern's "I was set up!" line— and then omits its usual snarky rejoinders.
But wait! Turns out that Stern has assigned book reviews to the people who write Gawker!
Which, given the Gawker folks' rather, um,
slender credentials for reviewing books (apparently they've read some), basically means that Stern was using his position as an editor to buy warm words for himself on Gawker.
And—wait for it!—
here's the Gawker plug, from April 26, 2005:
New York Post scribe Jared Paul Stern, having decamped to the Catskills, had some time on his hands and came up with a product as twisted as the truth in the hands of the gossip columnist he sometimes still is. His new preppy-punk line of ties and polos, Skull & Bones (debuting tonight at a party at A.S. Parker, 1001 Madison Avenue) replaces "fuckin' cutesy critters," as he puts it, like alligators and polo ponies with the sign of the Jolly Roger.
Do I hear the sound of two hands scratching two backs?
(Full disclosure:
Gawker has slagged me at least once that I can remember.)
(Whoops, make that
twice.)
