Now You Know They're Lying
Was Dick Cheney looped when he shot his friend, 78-year-old Jack Whittington, in the face? Until yesterday, participants in the Whittington shoot-off had denied there was any alcohol consumed before the hunt.
Katherine Armstrong, whose family owns the ranch where the slaughter—excuse me, hunt—took place, insisted that the hunting party drank
Dr. Pepper at lunch.
Well, that's a dead giveaway that she's not being completely honest. Because
no one drinks Dr. Pepper.
Dick Cheney has now confessed that he had a beer. Since
Cheney would never lie or mislead the press, I have total confidence that that one beer was the only alcoholic beverage consumed by the party of Texas hunters. They were only
bloodthirsty, you see.
