A Note to Mr. Martin Levine
Dear Mr. Levine (Supervising Investigator,
New York State Liquor Authority, 212-961-8377),
Several readers of this "web—log," or "blog," as early adoptors have taken to calling it, have contacted me to express concern about my apparent hostility towards you.
Not so.
Though I was understandably miffed at your gross abuse of power in denying patrons of
Pam's Real Thai the right to bring in a lovely six pack of
beer, I was not
that angry. Disappointed, yes. Hurt—sure. Traumatized, a little.
But those correspondents who implied that I was being "cranky" are off-base.
Want to know what cranky is? Cranky is the friend of my mother's who recently decided to fire off a shotgun in his suburban backyard, which resulted in him being led off in handcuffs by the local constabulary, a measure which my mother and I agree was appropriate.
Th point is, even after they took the handcuffs off,
he was cranky.
Anyway, Mr. Levine, what I'm saying is that surely we can work together to ensure that the patrons of Pam's Real Thai don't have to wash their Kad Pra Kow down with water. I'm confident that's something we both want.
With the utmost sincerity,
RB
P.S. To those of you who wondered, the fact that I was toting three bottles of beer in my shoulder bag did not mean that I had surreptitiously swigged the other three.
It meant that my friends R-b, P-t-r, and T-wns-nd consumed them across the street from the aforementioned public school—an act of lawbreaking which is the direct consequence of the heavyhanded authority of a Mr. Martin Levine (Supervising Investigator,
New York State Liquor Authority, 212-961-8377). But don't get me started.
